SFX OPINION SIMON PEGG
I, GEEK
GEEK, NOUN. PR. GEK
Slang 1a. A person regarded as foolish, inept, or clumsy. b. A person who is single- minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept. 2. A carnival freakshow performer whose show consists of bizarre acts, such as biting the head off a live chicken. 3. Simon Pegg.
I like to think of myself as a geek. It’s not that I’m regarded as clumsy or foolish by anyone other than my girlfriend, who I met shortly after blowing up the school physics lab, thus proving I am neither an accomplished scientist or socially inept. As for biting the head off a live chicken, whatever bizarre acts I perform in the privacy of my own carnival freak show is my business. I just think it’s time we stood up and got well and truly counted. Let’s face it; if you’re reading this, you’re probably a geek too. Don’t bristle at this, don’t get defensive or claim that Sarah Michelle Geller’s head was covering the bottom of the F and you thought it said “SEX”, which is mildly less embarrassing than the fact you were desperate to read the spoilers for Charmed. C’mon, raise your fist and say, “Damn straight!” Trust me, I’m not some school yard disbeliever, who has infiltrated the pages of this publication disguised as a Stormtrooper, I AM A GEEK and a damn proud one.
The reason for this rabble rousing call to anoraks is simple. I have decided to take the word back. Language is not produced from some ominous, gated factory on a hill, it is not an immovable edifice, it is ours. We define language and I say we zip up our figurative waterproofs to the chin and take a stand. Let’s strip the word of it’s negative connotations and re-appropriate it for ourselves, disempowering those who would sneer when you pick out a random card from the Star Wars edition of Trivial Pursuit and get every question right without even having to think (apart from Phantom Menace ones, which as we all know, simply do not count). Black people have achieved this with the most heinous of racial slurs. Gay people too have arrested many negative terms from the twisted mouths of the homophobes. I’m sure if Klingons existed, they would refer to each other playfully as Grumpy-Bumpy-Barstadz and if Simon Cowell knows what’s good for him, he will start referring himself as a cunt as soon as possible.
Let us first establish what this redefinition will entail, let us be sure what the word “geek” will mean in this, our “Brave New World” (snorts smugly into cocoa). For me it’s a word that encompasses not so much a denial of one’s adulthood but the refusal to equate the indulgence of imagination simply with childhood. This is what the scoffers and the frowners fail to achieve. If a non-geek sees a couple of kids running down the street dressed as Batman and Robin they smile (possibly panic if they are a midget with a police record). If the same non-geek saw a middle aged man dressed as Kirk, they experience anger, fear, aggression (and we all know where they leads.)
Take the D&D lot. That crazy bunch of break-time adventurers have become synonymous with geekdom. Why? Because they indulge in detailed fantasy or, as the non-geeks might sensationally spit it, escape reality. So what? Nobody refers to consenting sex partners as Geeks when they play “the naughty plumber”; just because it isn’t “the naughty plumber of Helm’s Deep” doesn’t mean it isn’t fantasy. I suppose the sex plumbers would argue that there is a time and a place for fleeing reality and it’s true, there are varying degrees of Geek. Take the more passionate end of the Star Trek fan base. The hardcore Trekkies/Trekkers represent a particularly fervent Geek tribe. This is greatly due to Gene Roddenberry’s progressive vision of a future fundamentalised by acceptance. Again I say, so what? We are all in search of comfort and happiness. Whether we find this in fishing, bungee jumping or 3-D Chess, who cares? The phenomenon that is Pop Idol is a telling indictment of just how many people are desperate to escape their lives in some way. Volunteering one’s self for likely national ridicule, in the quest to achieve some mediocre shadow of renown that itself will inevitably become the focus of weary public disinterest and venomous tabloid bile, is far sadder than dressing up as a Starfleet officer every couple of months.
So let us retrieve the lightsaber of Geekdom from the ice wall of distain and unite in celebration of ourselves, whether you are an occasional Buffy watcher or you’re going out on patrol tonight with your friend Andrew, who’s got blonde hair and a long coat. Of course, eventually, as the newly defined signifier gather popularity, momentum and pride, schisms will develop within ranks of the signified, among the purists ad the self righteous. The Geekz will sneer at the Geiks who will laugh at the Ge’ecks who will blush at a time when they were ever associated with the Geeks. For now though, we can all stand proudly side by side, safe in the knowledge that we have given redefinition a new name. Word to your mothership. SFX
Typed up by Kelly (Wife of Rolex)